Interview With Dan Phantom

My footsteps echoed throughout Clockwork's lair. I tried to ignore it, but when I saw Clockwork himself watching my approach, it was a good distraction. Staring makes me nervous. He noticed and looked away, fiddling with his staff.

"So- you're back," he started as I came to a stop. "What is it this time?

"This isn't personal business for once," I said, trying to sound official. He stopped and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I sighed in failure. "Ok, fine, it is slightly personal. But only slightly,"

"Figured…" he turned around and started floating to one of his screens. "Now, what is it you want to ask this time?"

I fidgeted. "Actually… It's not you who I want to ask…"

Clockwork froze. The screen had shown who I was referring to. "No," he said firmly.

"But I'll be ok. You're here after all. What's the danger?"

He then flew up close, only about a foot away from me. "He is the danger. You know that,"

I smirked. "Maybe he won't be dangerous. Maybe he'll listen to me. You know what I'm capable of here, and you know I wouldn't come into this kind of situation empty handed,"

Clockwork looked me over for a weapon or something. When he noticed I had none, he sighed, but floated off to the pedestal where a trashed and dented Fenton Thermos stood. He picked it up, then came back to me. He stayed about stayed about 20 feet away.

"You better be sure about this," he warned as the thermos started to tremble in his hand. He looked down at it and shook it a few times, which stopped the movement.

"Go ahead," I said smiling. It was only half faked. I was happy to finally meet the monster himself, but I was worried my failsafe wasn't as strong as I thought. Clockwork could tell, but he slowly began to open the thermos.

"Hope this is what you wanted,"

A beam of green shot out from the opening a few feet ahead of it. From the light, a figure began to form. He was much taller than I thought which increased my nervousness. Keep a straight face, I told myself, don't let him be able to sense it.
The green light started to fade away, leaving the white light from his hair to illuminate the area. He stood there for a moment, head down. I took this time to look him over. His suit was still ripped from the battle, but no wounds were visible. His muscles appeared to be relaxed. I stepped a bit closer, curiosity overcoming my tension.

It was a stupid mistake.

He flipped his head up and smiled at me, his red eyes burning. Suddenly we were face to face and he had a hand reaching for my neck. Clockwork reacted fast, and summoned chains around the ghost, pinning his legs and hands to the ground. The only reaction I could fit into this time was a gasp. What kind of interviewer am I?

"Do you want to continue?" Clockwork said with a calm, but warning voice. I knew this was costing me valuable brownie points with him, risking my life for an interview, but I had to keep going.

"Yes," I said, slightly out of breathe.

The ghost chuckled as if it were all a game. "Really? They sent a little girl to destroy me? I feel like they've underestimated me,"

"I'm not here to destroy you," I responded darkly. Little girl? I know I'm short, but it's not like I'm twelve…

"Obviously," he looked up at me, the same grin as before set on his face. "No executioner, even a human one, would let their fear be known. And I can taste yours as if it were blood on my tongue,"

I glared, trying to block out how bad that shook me. "I'm here to interview you for the people of my world. They are very curious about you,"

This caught him off guard. "Your world?"

"Yes. I'm not from here, but you have many fans there. Now let's move on and get these questions done with so you can go back to purgatory,"

"Why should I? Do I get anything out of this?" he asked. He tried to cover the curiosity in his voice with tone of boredom. I smiled. Got him.

"Well you could always just go back in the thermos…"

"… Hell… Fine. I get your point. Let's get this done…"

I win!

"This isn't the first question, but it would help to know. Do you prefer being called Dan Phantom, or Dark Danny?"

He glared up at me. "'Dark Danny'? Who the hell came up with that?"

"I honestly don't know…"

"Dan. Call me Dan. I'm not a child anymore, so I refuse to be called something cutesy like Danny, let alone Dark Danny…"

I nodded, pulling out a notebook. "My feelings as well.  Now one more before the actual questions. Your hair… Is it actually hair, or fire?"

"Fire…"

"Does it go out in the rain?"

"Just get to the interview already,"

"Pushy… Ok, first question; what have you been up to in the thermos?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you think I've been doing in there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because I can DO nothing," he paused. "Well, excluding plotting my revenge…" A wistful grin crossed his face.

"Any insight on that?"

"Heh heh… But that would be giving away the surprise." He flashed his fangs, then suddenly I had images of Danny mangled and dying on the street pass through my mind. I shook my head to remove them while Dan chuckled some more.

"Second question; Nickelodeon cancelled the show before your reappearance. How do you feel about that?" I paused, and noticed his look of confusion. "Oh, sorry… You- er, Danny, had a TV show. Millions of people watched it,"

"I know about that… But what do I care that it was cancelled? The only thing it deprives me of is an audience to watch as Danny gets crushed under my boot. And really, that's for MY entertainment, not the masses'."

"Well ok then… Third, what do you think of Danny?"

"… Do I really need to answer that?"

"Yes,"

"God… You really want to know? I hate him. I've always hated him. When I found out that I got to destroy the ones closest to him, I began to count down the seconds. I couldn't wait to cause him the mental breakdown that would push him to become me. Honestly, I think my hastiness was the cause of his… Victory. I was too sloppy. Left too many loose ends for him to expliot…" Dan straightened up. "But when I get the chance to see him again… There will be no place for that brat to run,"

I was frozen. The pure hatred rolling out of him closed up my throat. He stared at me unblinkingly, waiting for the next question. I cleared my throat.

"Fourth… And let's do fifth, too. They're pretty close. Why do people adore you and why are you so awesome?" I got a fairly odd look out of him from this.

"People adore me..? Huh. Must be their sadistic side getting a rise outta what I do. I mean, really, I've done everything I can to not be liked and on your world I'm 'adored'? It's ridiculous. As for the awesome thing…" He smirked at me, "What do you think?"

My eyes widened, and then closed to slits. "Does it matter?"

"Well I assume since you're risking your skin to ask me these questions, you must honestly think them yourself,"

"Next question!" I said way too loudly. Clockwork rolled his eyes as Dan cracked up laughing. "Shut up! Anyway… Oh God… Umm… Did you spend the 10 years after the accident only destroying everything...? Or did you explore your 'natural needs'?" I couldn't help but blush at this question.

Dan's laughing died down now to a dark chuckle. He licked his lips and looked at me again, but with a very wild look in his eyes. "A bit of both…" I looked away quickly. I had to resist the urge to take a few steps back. If I felt like I was in any danger during this interview, this was definitely it.

"Dan…" Clockwork growled.

"Ok, ok…" He looked away at one of the random clocks. "This is fun… I mean it started out annoying…"

"Let's move on, please… What is your favorite movie?"

"Sure, like there's a TV and DVD player in the thermos… Don't know, don't care. Next." He looked at the chains binding him and played with them absentmindedly.

I looked at the next questions in the notebook. "Hmm… I'm not sure if you can answer this one. What do you think of the SpongeBob SquarePants show?"

He looked back and gaped. "You got to be kidding me, right? Man… Now it's gotten annoying again…"

"You know who I'm referring to?"

"Yeah… He's been in our world before. That's why I hate cartoon video games… Although I have to admit, I met him when I was younger, so this was actually Danny's impression too. He is the stupidest thing to ever be created. Ever. I mean, a talking sponge? What the hell?? Who WATCHES a normally inanimate object for fun???" He stopped yelling for a moment, drifting off into his own thoughts. "Hmm… I think I'll take him out after Danny…"

"Okaaaaaaaaaaay… Next que-"

"How many more?" Dan cut me off. He was slightly tugging at the chains at this point.

"Not too many. It would go faster if you weren't so opinionated. And besides, do you really want to go back to the thermos so soon?"

"… Just go faster," he replied. He acted as if he were in a hurry for something.

"Then don't talk over me," I snapped. "Alright… What is the weirdest dream you've had?"

He paused, mulling over his answer. "If I do dream, I don't remember it. I don't really sleep… Rest, yes. All ghosts need to so they can refuel their energy, but sleep? No point to," he stopped again, a cocky smile crossing his face. "Do daydreams count?"

"Umm…" My curiosity flared.

"Don't say yes," Clockwork answered for me. "You do not want to know what this murderer thinks about… Do you?"

Ok, now you're making me morbidly curious… Man…  "Next… What do you think about rules and laws that limit human rights and freedoms?"

"Wait, what? Why…" Dan was stumped by this question. "You people realize I'm an inhuman entity, right? Why would I care? I destroy the governments that think of that crap. Do you think I really care about petty human rights?"

"Eh, not really... Your cape is awesome; can I use it for a while?"

"… Are you asking that?"

"No. It's one of the questions,"

"Oh. They'll just have to come down and ask me in person then... I would love to kill one of my questioners…" He then looked up at me. "Or maybe a second one…"

I scoffed, which made both Clockwork and Dan look at me. Not if I have my failsafe, idiot…

"Any who, what do you think is your best quality?"

"In what way?"

"Whichever,"

"Hmm… Eh, I'm not really the self-centered type," I stared off in the distance, a slight look of disbelief on my face. Dan glared at me. "What?" He snapped.

"Nothing… Moving on. Boxers or briefs?"

"Why would anyone need to know that? Oh yeah… 'Fans'… Y'know what? I'm not going to answer that,"

"I'll just chalk you down for briefs then…" I smirked, pretending to write it down.

"Wait-" Dan flustered.

"Ha! Gotcha! Boxers it is!" Another point for me! Dan growled and stretched his arms against the chains. Huh… thought they were shorter…

"How would you react if you met Danni?"

"Danni...?" he seemed puzzled, then realization crossed his face. "Ohh… The genetically faulty clone?"

"Genetically faulty..?"

"Well, yeah, if she's got Danny's half-ghost DNA in her… Eh, I'd just destroy her so no one could try to recreate the real Danny after I've dealt with him. Hell, I might just be putting her out of her misery… Other than that, I have no feelings toward the girl."

"Wow. So it's like she's not even real to you?"

"Of course not. But no one is truly real to me. No one matters,"

"Ah. So… What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"

"For ice cream? Seriously?" he sighed. "Nothing. What ghost freaking cares about ice cream?"

"Good point… Did you ever feel guilt about all the things you've done?"

Dan began to laugh again, but louder this time. "Guilt? Guilt?? Do you people think I care? For anything??" He burst into even more laughter, the fire on his head going crazy. "Oh God… You people act as if I'm human still! I've enjoyed every single horrible thing I've done. Best part? Destroying Amity Park again and again and again… Valerie's pain every time was so…" His laughing increased tenfold. Clockwork looked at me, his gaze telling me to hurry it up. I waited for Dan's outburst to die down.

"This is the last question,"

"Hang on a sec…" he said, still trying to calm down. I waited until he was silent.

"Ok, this is the last one, then back in the thermos you go,"

"Sure…" he trailed off.

"Do you ever use the fangs for drinking blood?" I glanced up from the notebook and noticed Dan smiling widely at me. He looked in my eyes, and I suddenly couldn't breathe.

"Let's see, shall we?" his voice echoed throughout the hallways, then he was gone, evaporating into thin air. Clockwork's eyes widened and he looked at the chains, realizing they had been broken for quite a while now.

"Go!" he shouted at me, pointing ay my world's portal. "Get back to your world! NOW!" He searched the chamber frantically for Dan.

But I knew where he was.

"Now…" He whispered, his breathe was hot on the back of my neck, "What was the question again?" I tried to run, but he had a grip on my wrists stronger than anything I've ever felt. I struggled violently against it, but in response got slammed up against a wall. I yelped in pain. Clockwork heard this and tried to stop time, but Dan threw up a ghost shield with one hand while hold both of mine tightly against my back, blocking any effect. "You really think I wouldn't find a way around your little 'time outs'? Heh heh, you surprise me, Clockwork,"

Clockwork looked at me with fear. He knew what Dan was planning. He knew I would die.

But what he didn't know was about my failsafe… Oh, the beauty of existing from another world…

I pulled against Dan's grip, which made him face me. He twirled me around so fast there wasn't time for me to even notice he let go of my hands before he had them again, holding them to my chest.

"Did you think I forgot about you, little girl?" he licked his teeth as if to show off how sharp they were.

"Nope…" I choked out, smiling at him. "But I bet you underestimated me, huh?" I didn't let him respond. I pushed with all my strength against his grip which was more than what I faked earlier, so he accidently let gout of surprise. I pointed my fingers at him in the shape of a gun and used my other hand to stabilize my aim.

He barked out a laugh. "And what do you expect to do with that?"

"This. Bang!" My arms flew back from the recoil of lightning shooting out from my fingertips. It blasted Dan against his shield, shattering it. He hit the ground hard, his ripped suit exposing his now charred chest. He struggled to get up. I didn't give him a chance to. "BANG!" I said louder as the lightning struck in response, hitting Dan in the same spot.

This time he didn't move. He coughed out profanity. Clockwork didn't give him a chance to pull anymore tricks by immediately zapping him back into the thermos. He shut it tight.

He flew over to me, his look full of relief. "Was that…"

"My failsafe?  Yes,"

"I didn't realize it was so…" He looked at me, impressed.

"Maybe you both have learned not to underestimate me," I winked. "Thank you for letting me do this. I owe you one,"

"You already owe me several" He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Yeah yeah… Bye!" I yelled, running off to my portal. Yes! I did it!!!

He chuckled with no sound, then put the thermos back on the pedestal.


After shaking it a few times, of course…